WoW 140: On false empowerment [Words of Wisdom]


Plant seeds of wisdom today

Take the next 24 or so breaths slowly and reflect deeply on your life. I hope these words help you grow in you the most valuable treasure in life: wisdom. Wisdom grows imperceptibly but flourishes like a mighty oak, standing the test of time.

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I’ve been reflecting on the subtle yet significant difficulties of transformation. One of the dangers is that while seeking growth, healing, and transformation you become falsely empowered.

Let’s say you’ve experienced pain, trauma, or rejection. It cuts very deep. And so, you rise up to fight back, to seek to change. False empowerment can occur when your ego, your false self drives the change.

We are all addicted to control. To believing the lie that it’s only up to me, that I am the only one I can depend on. And so, instead of surrendering a situation and our will to God, we take control and become falsely empowered.

And so we weaponize boundaries. We lash out and call it justice. We take action to prioritize security and safety instead of sacrificial love.

We sit around our own internal campfire and tell ourselves victim-based tales. We whine to ourselves and others with resentment and indignation about how bad and shocking others are.

Beware! False empowerment is deadly and leads to ruin.

Jesus teaches that the resentment log eliminates the possibility for humble self-awareness and ultimately, surrender and healthy dependence on God (Matthew 7:3-14).

This is a hard truth. We all innately long to have power over our own existence but every mature spiritual leader I know of knows better: you are powerless and desperately need to depend on God.

So take action, but do it in dependence on God. Surrender ‘the flesh’, your small ego of self, let go and entrust your will and life to God. Only then will your boundaries be healthy, and your heart centered. Only then can you enter the narrow gate, ask what you want of God, and receive it.

Perhaps there is more freedom for you to experience, not by setting more boundaries, but by breaking down internal barriers you’ve built to wall off love.

Quotes

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Jesus, in the greatest sermon in history, Matthew 7:1-5, ESV

"All mature spirituality, in one sense or another, is about letting go and unlearning."

Richard Rohr, Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps

Questions

  1. In what areas of my life might I be experiencing false empowerment? Are there any specific boundaries in my life that I need to re-evaluate from a spiritual perspective?
  2. In what ways do I try to maintain control instead of surrendering to God?
  3. Is there a "victim-based tale" or internal narrative of resentment that I need to let go of?

(Use these questions to guide your prayers and as journal prompts this week)

Endnote

Perhaps the strongest thing you can do is to become weak and surrender control to God.

Live wisely,

Josh



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Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

I help people overcome their strongholds and grow in wisdom. The quality of your life stems from the depth of your connection to God, to yourself, and to others, and the courageous action you take out of that connection.

Read more from Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

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